I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
