You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
