I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
