the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I want a musical about memes.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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