You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
