she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
