walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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