Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
