Pregnant stripper...not hot.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
