My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
