oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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