i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
