Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
