PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
