Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
