Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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