omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
