toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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