TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
