At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
So squirting runs in the family.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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