Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you win again, gameday.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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