i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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