At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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