I hope mine doesn't look like that
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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