great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
