We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
