Do you still have your period?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm always down for nudity.
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