Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
