It's like a parade of train wrecks.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
