whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
