FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
