she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's rum buckets o'clock
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
