This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
