I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
