Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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