i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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