we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
