Little spoons don't ask big questions
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
