I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
