I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The air was thick with penises
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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