P.S. I can't hear my feet
either way he was missing a nipple.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
