if only i could text you this smell
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
