well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
