Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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