meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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