I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
