She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
