So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
