I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
