CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
