I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
